By Caterina Messina
Over the past 10 years or so, a new type of party has emerged in which many expecting straight and gay couples, as well as uncoupled pregnant people, have found it necessary to reveal their child’s ‘gender’ in extravagant and creative ways. Aside from simply throwing a baby shower, people are also throwing what are popularly referred to as “gender reveal parties”. While they may seem like simple parties, gender reveal parties are actually harmful to society and the next generation of children. While society has made progress in terms of evolving from strict gender stereotypes, these parties do nothing to aid in this progress. In fact, social progress is taking steps backwards by the mere existence and continuation of these parties.
First of all, the use of the word “gender” in the title “gender reveal parties” is incorrect. Gender is socially constructed and is expressed by the individual. In this case, the individual has not even been born yet to express? gender expression. Also, the doctor does not reveal the “gender” of the child; the doctor refers to the unborn child’s genitalia as its “sex”. Even if these parties were called “sex reveal parties”, there would still be major issues present. The main issue is that sex is also socially constructed. Sex is not static but rather runs on a spectrum which is reinforced by the existence of intersex babies. Intersex individuals are neither male or female, although they can express themselves through femininity or masculinity if they choose, which shows that these parties enforce negative gender norms. While gender reveal parties reinforce the toxic gender binary, calling them “sex reveal parties” will not fix this; rather it would erase the existence of intersex individuals altogether.
Gender norms were already in existence in every aspect of life before these parties. For example, clothes, toys, hygiene products, and many other objects are gendered in society and are used to reinforce these norms and roles. Allowing these types of parties to become normalized in society will hinder progress towards a more inclusive and accepting world. The obsession with gender before a child is even born can be harmful to the development and future expression of that child. For example, putting pressure on stereotypical gender norms will be harmful to children who are transgender or non-binary. If parents care so deeply about gender that they put this much effort into turning it into a party, children will have a difficult time expressing themselves outside of the social binary of gender. In the end, gender should not matter that much to expecting parents. Does revealing the child’s gender in such a way affect how you will treat your child? Will the color inside of a balloon change how you would raise your child depending on the color you see? Every child should be loved unconditionally, regardless of their sex or gender identity which is why “gender reveal parties” are harmful and pointless.
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